Anakin's World
by Einstein-Wannabe
Summary: ( Complete at last!) Anakin’s busy head banging to Jedi Rhapsody, Obi falls for a Portman look-alike, and Padme sings 'Coruscant Woman' in Leia's slave outfit. Star Wars meets Wayne’s World. You’ll never see Jar Jar in the same light again.
1. Chapter 1

A/N I do not own anything, seeing as that I am not George Lucas. Reviews are always lovely things.  
  
  
ANAKIN'S WORLD  
  
( _Cut to the basement of a Jedi's house. Two guys, Obi and Anakin, are sitting on a couch,preparing to start their show)  
_  
Anakin and Obi: It's Anakin's world! Anakin's world! Jedi Time! Excellent! Woo,woo!  
  
Anakin: Okay, today on Anakin's world,we are going to meet Jabba the Hutt,who is here to present his own new designed podracer for Hutts in mind.  
  
( _Jabba comes sliming out_)  
  
Anakin: ( _Pulls out cue cards, first one says Slug boy, with arrow pointing to Jabba_) Tell us Jabba, how does the new podracer work?  
  
Jabba: Hee woota wunga! ( _Like any other podracer!_)  
  
Anakin: (_ Next card reads Jabba blows toads! We have proof!_) How proud are you of this invention?  
  
Jabba: Woobe wenta! ( _ Very proud_)  
  
Anakin: (_ last card reads This slug is constipated_) Anything else you have made lately?  
  
Jabba: Wooba! Wooter goner shaz cal witz chu! ( _Yes! I have made the new Jedi haircutting tool! Just use the force and it will cut your hair exactly the way you want!)  
_  
Anakin: Okay! Obi, you give it a try!  
  
Obi: Okay. ( _Starts to get his hair chopped up_) AHHHH! STOP!!! I SPENT TEN YEARS GETTING THIS HAIRDO!  
  
( _Jabba turns it off, Anakin soothes Obi's nerves by sining Your song which, for some reason, Obi starts singing as well)  
_  
Anakin: Okay,now beore we go,we want to give a salute to. . .Rabe, the handmaiden! _(pulls out picture of Rabe in bathing suit) _Rabe, we salute you! _( boths Anakin and Obi swing their stomachs out_) SCHA-WING!  
  
Obi: Hey Anakin, can you hurry up? I'm starting to get impatient here.  
  
Anakin: Yeah. That's what she told me! (_ boths start cracking up_) All right, Party on Obi!  
  
Obi: Party on Ani!  
  
Anakin and Obi: It's Anakin's world! Anakin's world! Jedi time! Excellent! Woo-Woo!  
  
(_Cut to Anakin walking through his Jedi apartment on Coruscant, the upstairs_)  
  
Anakin: Let me get you up to date. I'm a soon to be Jedi Knight, with his own intergalatic access cable show. I don't exactly have what you would call a career up to this point.   
Let me put it this way. I have an extensive collection of security armor and blasters _(grins as he shows it off to camera)  
_  
Anakin: Okay, I still dream about my mother, which is both bogus and disturbing. But I still know how to party. ( _Hears noise outside)_ Ah, the Jedi-mobile! Come.  
  
( _Cut outside to see speeder waiting with Obi, Ki-Adi Mundi, and Mace Windu waiting for Anakin)  
_  
Anakin: This is my best friend and master, Obi-Wan Kenobi.  
  
Obi: Hi. _( grins sheepishly)_  
  
(_ Anakin gets in, they all take off town downtown Coruscant)  
  
_Anakin: I think that it's time for a little Jedi rhapsody, don't you agree gentlemen?  
  
(_ All agree. Music starts playing with rhythm of Bohemian Rhapsody)  
_  
All singing along:** I see a little sillouhette of a Jedi, Mama Moosh! Mama moosh, can you use the force real cool? Sith are very frightening,very, very frightening, yeah!**  
  
Anakin: Sifo-Dyas!  
  
Obi: Sifo-Dyas!  
  
Windu and Amundu: SIfo-Dyas! (_ all together)_ Oh, oh,oh, here we go!  
  
All sing along again:** I'm just a poor boy from a slave family! He's just a poor boy, nobody loves him! Spare from his mother, who is on Tatooine!  
  
**( _Stop as they see Master Yoda sitting outside bar, looking kind of sick_)  
  
Anakin:(_ gets out_) Yoda? What are you doing here? You're partied out. . . again!  
  
Obi: What if he honks in the speeder?  
  
Anakin: I'm giving you a no-honk guarentee. Besides, it's not like it will be a big mess anyway.  
  
( _Obi still looks uncomfortable as they pulls Yoda into car. Song begins again)  
  
_All sing along: **Easy come, easy go, will Kenobi let him go? Anakin is not ready! He will not let you go!** (Let him go!) **Anakin is not ready! He will not let you go!  
  
**Yoda ( starts singing too) Go me let!  
  
Others: **Will not let you go!  
**  
Yoda: Go me let!  
  
All: **Will not let you go! To face the Trials! Mama mia! Mama mia! I cannot believe that a Jedi indeed I will be! I will be! I will beeeeeeeeee!   
  
**( _All start headbanging along to the rock music_)  
  
All singing again: **So you think you can you can tell me, Ani, you're a good guy!? So you think you can tell me , Ani, you must always try!? OHHH!  
**  
(_ Finally stop at lightsaber shop)   
  
_Anakin: Pull over. ( _All the others starts complaining_)  
  
Obi: (_to camera, rolling his eyes_) He does this every Friday. ( _to Anakin)_ Give it up man! You'll never afford it! Live in the now!  
  
Anakin: ( _after looking at super-advanced lightsaber_) It will be mine. Oh, yes. . .(_ raises eyebrow_) It will be mine.  
  
Obi: ( _Simply sighs, looking at camera_)  
  
( _Shuttle comes flying up to Qui-Gon Donuts. Out comes Captain Typho_)  
  
Typho: Hello boys.  
  
Anakin: Captain Typho, his. ( _sniffs the air for a minute_) Does anyone smell something funny anywhere?  
  
Obi: Yeah, I definately smell something of a swamp origin. (_ snickers_)  
  
Typho: Ha,ha, I get it, swamp, naboo guard, gungan, yeah yeah.  
  
( _All snicker in response to this: Yoda's face goes green. . .er)_  
  
Anakin: Okay, this guy needs some major Coruscant cappucino and fast!  
  
(_ All rush past)_  
  
Anakin: This is Qui-Gon's Donuts. Excellent place. I recommend the chocolate ewok donuts. They're excellent.This is Qui-Gon Jinn. He still runs the place now.  
  
(_Qui-Gon beckons for camera to follow him_)  
  
Qui-Gon: I never did a crazy thing in my life up until that night. Why is it that when a man kills a Toydarian in a fight, it's called heroism. But when he kills one in the heat of passion, it's called murder-  
  
Anakin: Hello! What do you think you are doing? (_ looks at camera_) Only me and Obi get to talk to the camera. Come on.  
  
Obi: (_grins sheepishly_) Well I just want to say- hey look, Mark Hamill! (_ runs away from the camera)  
_  
Anakin: Hey Obi, there's your girlfriend. ( _points at nearby waitress, who looks a lot like Natalie Portman)  
_  
( _Obi-Wan is suddenly thrown backwards by the force. Yoda pretends not to be involved in this)  
_  
Obi: Ow. I slipped. ( _continues making googly eyes at Portman look alike_)  
  
(_ In comes Sabe, carrying a wrapped present)_  
  
Obi: Oh no, Anakin, don't look now, psycho rancor beast at ten o'clock.  
  
Anakin: Where?! ( _turns sees Sabe, she seems him, grins stupidly and walks over_) Oh no, I made eye contact.  
  
Sabe: Happy Anniversary Ani.  
  
Anakin: First of all, it's Anakin. Second of all, we've never gone out before once in my entire life.  
  
Sabe: Well, that doesn't mean we can't be boyfriend and girlfriend.  
  
Anakin: Well yeah, it does, you have to actually tallk to each other.  
  
Sabe: Don't you want to open your present?  
  
Anakin: If it's Jar-Jar's head, I'm going to be very upset.  
  
Sabe: Open it.  
  
(_ Anakin opens it and finds it to be a laser gun rack)_  
  
Anakin: A laser gun rack? A laser gun rack. Sha! I don't even own A laser gun! What the hell am I supposed to do with a laser gun rack?  
  
Sabe: (_ looks hurt)_ You know, Ani, if you're not careful, you're going to lose me.  
  
Anakin: I never had you to begin with! Are you mental? You don't even have a real personality!  
  
(_ Obi doesn't notice, has another force attack, with a little assistance from Yoda)  
  
_(_ Later, we see them at Forceworks, a partying place for Jedi_)  
  
Anakin: This is Forceworks, they got some great bands here!  
  
( _Out comes Padme Amidala, giving a speech on politics and good manners)   
  
_Crowd: What the hell is this?! Get off the stage!  
  
Padme: ( _grins evilly_) Just kidding. ( _Rips off her clothes to reveal herself dressed in Leia's slave outfit, starts singing Corsucant Woman)  
  
_(_ All the Jedi get around a huge thug alien, except Yoda, who gets knocked back)  
  
_Yoda: Me excuse!  
  
Thug: WHAT?!  
  
Yoda: Me excuse. Like to get by, I would.  
  
Thug: (_picks Yoda up with one hand_) GET OUT OF MY FACE YOU LITTLE DWEEB! (_throws him across room into surrounding crowd)  
  
_Yoda: Ow. ( _walks over again, taps Thug on shoulde_r) Me exuse again.  
  
Thug: WHAT DO YOU WANT YOU LITTLE DWEEB?  
  
( _Yoda responds by sending lightning bolts out at Thug, sending him flying across the room through the nearby wall. Crowd roars with approval)  
  
_Yoda: (_ grins cockily at admiring females, who are now swooning over him_) You, I thank.  
  
(_ Anakin is headbanging to music, suddenly sees Padme_)  
  
Anakin: SHE'S A BABE! Schwing! (_ jumps off ground fice feet, stares wide eyed at her for a moment)  
_  
( _Padme finishes. As she comes off the stage, two wookies are getting into a fight. One accidently sends a piece of wood flying at Padme)   
_  
Padme: AHHH! ( _karate chops them both, beats them up_)  
  
Anakin: YEAH! ( _looks at camera_) l love this woman!  
  
( _Padme walks past Anakin_)  
  
Padme: Hey I know you, you're that guy from that show, Anakin's World, right?  
  
Anakin: Yeah! Pretty rough night huh? Things are getting kind of wooky in here. (_scrunches his face up in embarressment_)  
  
Anakin: Hey, can I call you?   
  
Padme: I'll be here tommorrow night.  
  
Anakin: Excellent. (_After she leaves, he looks at camera)_ She will be mine, oh yes. . . she will be mine.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N I don't own anything to do with Star Wars, etc. Reviews are always nice things.  
  
  
  
( Obi and Anakin are sitting on top of their speeder,which is parked by a nearby spaceport on Coruscant)  
  
Obi: That singer Padme was a babe. She made me feel kind of funny. . . like when we used to have lasers shot at us in Jedi academy.  
  
Anakin: She's a babe. If she were a hutt, she would be Jabba the Hottie.  
  
Obi: If she were a Jedi, she would be Baby-wan DeCutie  
  
( Anakin smiles his agreement)  
  
Obi: Anakin. . . did you ever think that Boss Nass would be cute if dressed up in a dress like a girl gungan?  
  
Anakin: No. ( Both start cracking up) No.  
  
Obi: Me neither.  
  
Anakin: Okay, here it comes, ready?!  
  
Obi: Ready!  
  
( Both use the force to send speeder flying overhead crashing into a nearby building. They cheer with delight at the sight of the explosion.)  
  
( The next day, Anakin and Obi are getting their lightsabers tuned up by Yoda. Anakin is listening to a tape about Gungan.)  
  
Anakin: Mesa think yousa very pretty! MESA THINK YOUSA VERY PRETTY!  
  
Obi: Stop it, you're scaring me!  
  
(Anakin shows him the Gungan booklet)  
  
Obi: Oh, I see, you're learning Padme's language.  
  
( Out comes Yoda)  
  
Yoda: Finished your lightsabers are. Last night, cool Forceworks was. Hot singer was there.  
  
Anakin: Yeah, Yoda, we know, we were there.  
  
Yoda: ( seems not to hear this) Very hot singer there was!  
  
Anakin: Yoda, are you mental? We were there, remember?  
  
( Obi accidenly cuts off head of statue of Count Dooku while trying out his lightsaber)   
  
Obi: I think we should go now.  
Anakin: Cool.  
  
( That night, before the two head out to Forceworks, they are finishing up their show. In comes Darth Maul and Darth Sidious)  
  
Maul: Hey fellows, my name is Darth Maul and I just want to say that I love your show, but I think that it could be so much more.  
  
Obi: Well don't shut us down, okay? We're on intergalactic access, okay? ( continues to panic) We'll try harder , all right?!  
  
Anakin: Easy Obi! ( calms him by starting to sing again)  
  
Maul: The point is that my boss, Darth Dook- uh, Darth Tyrannous, wants to buy your show. So he gave me these contracts for ten thousand Republic credits each. ( shows checks)  
  
Anakin: Exsqueeze mesa? I mean, excuse me? Did you just say you would pay us to do Anakin's world?  
  
( Darth Maul nodds)  
  
Maul: After you sign the contract of course.  
  
( While Anakin is reading through the contract, Obi motions for the camera to follow him)  
  
Obi: Does this seem kind of strange to you? All these contracts? Did master Yoda ever tell you about the time some Dathomir witch tried to get him to sign a contact that would allow her to torture him, and when he refused, she tried to cook him for dinner, but he chopped her into little pieces instead?  
  
(Pause)  
  
Obi: Pretty cool, huh? I gotta go.  
  
(Goes back to Anakin and Maul)  
  
Anakin: Well I think we can work with you.  
  
Maul: Do you need a lawyer?  
  
Obi: Oh, no way man. We use the force. Besides our last lawyer thought he was more powerful than a Jedi and I was like No friggin way man! and he's like Oh yeah?! and he starts shooting laser shots at me and then I had to get my lightsaber out to knock em back at him! (stops, starts panting heavily to collect his breath)  
  
Maul: Exactly.  
  
( Later, we see Anakin and Obi jumping around outside of Foreworks)  
  
Anakin and Obi: We've got ten thousand credits! We've got ten thousand credits!  
  
( Come inside to see Padme singing in her Leia outfit once again, this time the song Hit Me, Jedi, One More Time)  
  
( Obi and Anakin run up to meet Mace Windu, Ki-Adi Mundi, and Yoda)  
  
All: ( to each other) Party on Jedi!  
  
( Out behind them appears Darth Sidious)  
  
Sidious: Party on, er, Jedi!  
  
Obi: ( looks out into crowd, sees Sabe) Oh no! Psycho Rancor alert!  
  
( Sabe sees Anakin and the others and starts to approach them)  
  
Anakin: Let's get out of here!  
  
( They all scatter)  
  
( Anakin starts headbanging to music when Jar-Jar comes up to him)  
  
Jar-Jar: Heya, Ani! Mesa heard about de deal yousa makin! I lova you!  
  
Anakin: ( looking kind of disturbed) Uh, no, Jar-Jar, I love you.  
  
Jar-Jar: No! Mesa mean it man! I lova you!  
  
Anakin: ( still looking rather distressed) Uh, no, I mean it Jar-Jar, I love you.  
  
Jar-Jar: (laughs) No you don't man! ( pulls Anakin into a hug; Anakin quickly notices Obi dancing next to him)  
  
Anakin: Hey, uh, Obi, Jar-Jar has something to say to you!  
  
( Tosses Jar-Jar over to Obi)  
  
Jar-Jar: ( to Obi) Mesa lova you Obi!  
  
Obi: Thank you! ( the two continue to dance)  
  
( Meanwhile Anakin sees image of Padme singing The Sound of Music. He notices Darth Maul in the crowd, starting to head bang along with the song, quickly starts headbanging himself)  
  
( Obi is seen waiting in line for the restroom to be open when Sabe walks up to him, making him look even more uncomfortable)  
  
Sabe: Hey Obi, have you seen Anakin? He's been a bit distant lately. What do you think is wrong?  
  
Obi: That you're a psycho and you need to get a real boyfriend?  
  
Sabe: ( laughs in a dim-witted manner) Oh, Obi, you're so funny. What should I really do?  
  
Obi: Just give it up, you loser, go out with someone else?  
  
Sabe: Go out with someone else, okay, got it.  
( Sees Senator Bail Organa standing to the side of the room, looking bored.)  
  
Sabe: ( runs up to him) Hi! ( The two walk off arm in arm)  
  
( After Padme finishes her song, Anakin quickly gets her attention)  
  
Anakin: Hey, want to go hang outside for a second?  
  
Padme: Sure. ( sees Maul eyeing her, gives him insincere smile) Sorry pal, I don't dig guys with the spiked hairdo.  
  
( We see Anakin and her outside, sitting down and talking)  
  
Anakin: Jedi! You rock!  
  
Padme: Thanks. What's up with this Darth Maul guy?  
  
Anakin: Oh, he's some big time producer. We've just signed with him. Works for some dude named Tyrannous.  
  
( Padme nodds on this, while Anakin collects his nerves)  
  
Anakin: Hey, Padme? I've got something to say to you. ( pauses for a minute) Mesa thinka yousa very pretty!  
  
Padme: ( looks extremely happy) Anakin! You learned how to say I am pretty in Gungan!  
  
( Anakin looks down, pretending to be modest)  
  
Padme: And yousa are a very hansome mana!  
  
Anakin: Slowa downa, pleasa! Mesa just de starter!  
  
( Sabe and Bail Organa come walking out)  
  
Sabe: Hi Anakin! ( walks off into corner with Bail Organa)  
  
Padme:( under her breath) Whosa thata?  
  
Anakin: Soma twikie, thinka shesa ever my girlfriend. Wesa never even go out before.  
  
Padme: Shesa hava nica lega, but nosa braina.  
  
Anakin: Plus shesa psycho hosa beasta.  
  
Padme: Data is very funny. But you no shoulda label people like thata.  
  
Anakin: Yeah. If wesa dida that, then wesa woulda thinka that Senator Palpatina isa sithie lord.  
  
( Padme cracks up at this comment)  
  
Anakin: So, can I call you?  
  
Padme: Anytime.  
  
Anakin: ( to camera) Excellenta!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N I don't own anything to do with Star Wars, etc. Reviews are always lovely things  
  
( _The next morning we see Obi just getting out of bed. Up walks his pet Jawa, Dassie, comes walking in)  
_  
Dassie: Ootinie!  
  
Obi: What's that girl? Anakin's fallen to the dark side of the force, become a sith lord, and is hunting down the Jedi knights?  
  
Dassie: Ootinie!  
  
Obi: (_ grins sheepishly_) Oh, I misunderstood. Anakin's outside.  
  
( _He goes out to where Anakin is waiting for a nice lightsaber match_)  
  
Anakin: Fight on!  
  
Obi: Fight on!  
  
( _The two start clashing with their lightsabers. After a few minutes, a speeder starts to approach overhead)  
  
_Anakin and Obi: Speeder!  
_  
( Both duck down_)  
  
Anakin: Okay! Fight on!  
  
Obi: Fight on!  
  
( _They continue to clash for another five minutes or so, then the pause for a brief break_)  
  
Obi: Say Anakin, do you get the feeling that Darth Maul isn't one of us?  
  
Anakin: Good call Obi. It's like he has some confidence issue with all those tatooes and horns. After all, the Coruscant Street boys never changed their physical appearance to look cool. They left that up to Michael Jetson.  
  
(_ Another speeder comes flying overhead_)  
  
Anakin and Obi: Speeder! (xi  
  
_( The speeder turns out to have Sabe as the pilot)  
_  
Sabe: (_ looks down at them in a dazed manner as she passes overhead_) Hi Ani!  
  
( _She crashes into a nearby building,the explosion sends her landing on another building across from Anakin and Obi)  
_  
Anakin: . . . And she's okay! Fight on!  
  
Obi: Yeah, fight on!  
  
( _Sabe just gets up, burnt black all over, giggling stupidly)_  
  
_(We later see Anakin and Padme are flying to mainstream Coruscant)  
_  
Anakin: I just want to say , Padme, that you're looking fabulous today!  
  
Padme: Thanks. I've been worrying that I was slacking off with all of these stupid Senate meetings I've been going to lately. Fortuneatly, I have a great personnal trainer.  
  
Anakin: ( _very abruptly_) You're so fine you will be mine!  
  
Padme: Excuse me?  
  
Anakin: Sorry. It was a song I have stuck in my head. ( _starts again as abruptly as before)_ You're so fine, you will be mine! Hey Leia!  
  
( _Padme starts clapping and singing with him)_  
  
Anakin and Padme: Hey Leia, you're so fine, you're so fine, you will be mine, hey Leia!  
  
Padme: I didn't know you were a fan of N'Solo!  
  
( _Anakin grins sheepishly)_  
  
(_ Later we arrive at a studio where Darth Maul is waiting with Darth Tyrannous_)  
  
Maul: Hello Anakin, Obi. This is our sponser, Darth Tyrannous.  
  
Tyrannous: Hello their fellows. You may call me Count Dooku for short.  
  
Anakin: _( grins goofily)_ Okay. . .  
  
Maul: Here, we just want to run a test through the show,all right?   
  
(_ Points down to the studio room where we can see a replica of Anakin's basement)_  
  
Anakin: ( _admiringly_) Yes! Nice. . .  
  
(_ Anakin and Obi get in front of a blue screen, ready to do their test)  
  
_Anakin: Hey folks! Party on Obi!  
  
Obi: Pary on Anakin!  
  
Anakin: Okay, today on Anakin's world, we have a new travel feature! Let's go to. . .  
  
( _The background changes here_)  
  
Anakin: Naboo! Hey Obi, mesa thinkin there be many gungans here!  
  
Obi: Mesa agree Anakin! (_ Background changes again)_  
  
Anakin: Now we're in. . . Bespin! Hey check out the clouds!  
  
Obi: They look cool to me Anakin!  
  
Anakin: They're even more vapid than my old master! ( _Both crack up at this_) Now we're off to. . . ( _Background changes agai_n)  
  
Anakin: Dagobah!   
  
( _Both he and Obi stop moving for a moment_)   
  
Anakin: ( _bored_) Hi. I'm on Dagobah.  



	4. Chapter 4

A/N I don't own anything to do with Star Wars, etc. A reviews is always a nice thing.  
  
  
_(Cut to Anakin and Padme entering the lightsaber shop Anakin stopped by earlier, along with Obi and Co.)  
_  
Anakin: There it is. The mega 6-THX Lucasfilm Limited Edition. (_Bows his head before the lightsaber)  
_  
Padme: WOW! Super gratified plastic compound, pure coloring dye, and a signature from George Lucas himself!  
  
Anakin: (_calling over to nearby worker_) Excuse me, sir. Would you mind letting me have a look at this device?  
  
Worker: (_gives Anakin pathetic look_) Okay.   
  
(_Pulls lightsber out of case, hands it to Anakin, who begins to swing it around wildly. Worker quickly stops him and points to sign above door that says No stairway to the Force)  
_  
Anakin:_ (looks incrediously at camera)_ No stariway! Denied!  
  
( _Meanwhile Obi is sneaking up on Mace Windu, who is putting the moves on Mara Jade)_  
  
Worker: (_looks annoyed at Anakin_) All right, that's enough, hand it over bub.  
  
Anakin: Not today, my good sir. I think I'm going to buy it. Can you say. . . credits! (_pulls out credits)_ CA-CHING!  
  
(In background, Obi is being chased by Mace Windu, who has just been pantsed)  
  
(_Cut to Qui-Gon's Donuts that night: A frusturated Sebulba is sitting at a counter top next to Qui-Gon)  
_  
Sebulba: I can't believe it, I got done today!  
  
Qui-Gon: (_grimaces evilly_) I know how that feels.  
  
Sebulba: No, I mean I actually lost another podrace today! You know what I want to do?  
  
Qui-Gon: (_ looking a bit insane now)_ Yeah, I know what you'd like to do. Find the sucker who beat you. Rip his very heart out, so he can see how weird it is before he dies.  
  
Sebulba: (_ looks worried_) Uh, actually, I was just planning to get a new podracer.  
  
Qui-Gon: (_smiles simply_) Well the galaxy's a twisted place my friend.  
  
(_ Sebulba quickly leaves. Meanwhile, Anakin is singing a song Padme in the Sky with Lasers)  
_  
Padme: (_grinning, cheers_) Yeah!  
  
Obi: _(suddenly seeing Natalie Portman look-alike_) Woah! There she is! (_can only stare at her, is suddenly thrown back onto floor; Mace Windu pretends to not be involved)  
_  
Obi: (_sits up grinning sheepishly_) Oops. I fell.Anakin, what do you do if every time you see this woman you think you'e gonna hurl?  
  
Anakin: I say hurl. If you blow and she comes, she's yours. If you blow and she shoots you with a laser, it was never meant to be.  
  
Padme: (_looks at Obi confused_) Why don't you just go talk to her?  
  
(_Dissolve into Obi fantasy; he walks over, turns on record player,starts playing song Forcy to tune of Foxy)  
_  
Obi: ( _lip-synching, gutting his stomach out in seductive manner_) **Forcy! **( _continues to dance towards Natalie Portman look alike in seductive manner_) **Forcy!  
  
**_(Natalie Portman look alike starts smiling at him_)  
  
Obi: (_Lip-synching_) **Well you know you're a little star faker! Forcy!  
And you know you're a little Alderaanian breaker! Forcy!  
  
**Obi: ( _starts swinging his whole body_) **I wanna take you home! I'm a Jedi, no harm, yeah! Your Force is all mine! All mine! Forcy Lady!  
  
**(_Grins in goofy manner_)  
  
Obi: ** Here I come! I've got the Force to prove it honey!  
  
**(_Fantasy ends. Obi is stil sitting at the table, grinning stupidly at the Natalie Portman look alike)  
_  
(_Anakin and Padme share annoyed looks)  
  
(Cut to Anakin, Obi, and Padme all entering Darth Maul's personal apartment)  
  
_Anakin: (_admiring room_) Yes! Maul, man, you know how to live!  
  
Maul: Thank you. Shall we go look out on my deck? (_Padme and Anakin follow, Obi motions to camera to follow him)  
_  
Obi: Does something seem funny to you about this? I mean, if I had a girl as hot as Padme, I wouldn't take her to a place like this. This Maul guy is obviously a player, man!  
  
(_Notices books on shelf_)  
  
Obi: What's this? How to Use the Dark Side to Seduce Women? Sith To Your Advantage?  Nothing Turns a Woman On Like a Black Cloak? ( _winks at camera_) I told you.  
  
(_ Finds little personal journal, reads latest entry_)  
  
Obi: ( Reads entry) Purchase galaxy-access show by two Jedi and wipe out their order's existance.   
  
Obi: (_grins at camera_) Boy. I sure feel sorry for those suckers!  
  
(_Finds little bottle_)  
  
Obi: (_reads off brand name_) **Horny For Her Pleasure** (l_ooks at camera_) Ewwwww!  
  
(_Meanwhile, Anakin is dropping water balloons off Maul's deck, much to Padme's delight. Maul comes out, quickly throws away book from deck, titled The Sensitive Naboo Woman)_  
  
Maul: Hey, I figured you would want the Naboo Delight.  
  
Padme: (_looks overjoyed)_ Oh boy, I love that stuff!   
  
(_Anakin smiles his agreement_)  
  
Maul: ( _looking at them_) Shall we order out? I know a lovely native Naboo resturaunt that does delivery.  
  
(_ Anakin and Padme nodd their agreement)_  
  
Maul: (_Calls up number on phone)_ Hello? Mesa wanta die four besta meals yousa havin. Mesa wanta yousa bringa Nabooie Delightie. Mesa thank yousa! (_hangs up)  
  
_Padme: Wow! I didn't know you could speak Gungan!  
  
(_Anakin looks pissed off, glares across to other deck on building: A Tusken Raider sitting out on chair notices, quickly runs inside)  
_  
Maul: I've studied an assortment of languages over time. Your particular dialect of English sounds familiar to those native to the mainstream Naboo village.  
  
Pamde: Yeah! That's where I was born!  
  
Maul: (_pretends to grin modestly_) There you go.  
  
Anakin: _(looks at camera_) This guy's good.  
  
Maul: By the way, I order the Naboo Via. It's a variation of the original, but I hear it's a vast improvement.  
  
Anakin: Ah yes, in many ways it's like the prequel Star Wars triology. In many ways it's superior, but will never be as acclamed as the orginal one.  
  
(_Maul and Pamde look at Anakin: he grins stupidly)_  
  
Obi: (comes out on porch) Okay. I think we should go now.  
  
Maul: Oh, wait you guys, here, these are for you. (_pulls out two tickets)_  
  
Anakin: WOW! Backstage passes to Alice Vader!  
  
Maul: I thought you guys would like this. (_grins at Padme_) Meanwhile, we can get to work on your music video.  
  
(_Maul turns back to Anakin, doesn't notice Padme pretending to fake-vomit)_  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. Chapter 5

A/N I don't own anything that is Star Wars, etc. Reviews are welcome.  
  
_(It's the next day where we see Anakin and Obi entering Coruscant, singing)  
  
_Anakin and Obi: **We're going to make our dreams come true! **( c_lasp each other around the shoulder, skip down the block)  
_  
Anakin and Obi: **Doing it our way!**  
_  
( We see the two hanging out at a food rations factory, helping wrap up the several different types of food. The two then take a small cruise in a paddle boat around a park)  
_  
Obi: Hey! What the hell are we doing?  
  
Anakin: Yeah, we got backstage passes to Alice Vader!  
  
( _Quickly make way into concert where Alice is singing Feed My Vaderstein, to tune of Feed my Frankenstein. Alice is wearing Darth Vader outfit)  
_  
Vader: **Well I ain't evil! I'm just good lookin! I fell in some lava, and baby, started cookin! I'm a dark-loving guy, yeah the Sith I rule! I hate all the Jedi, they made me go to school!  
Brought them to a simmer, yeah, those Jedi! Ran my nice lightsaber up their puny spines!  
Feed MMMYYYYYY Vaderstein! Hungry for a no-good-sneaky Jedi!  
Feed MMMYYYYYY Vaderstein! Hungry for force, it's Jedi huntin time!  
  
**(_ We see Anakin and Obi head-banging to all of this music)  
**  
**_****Obi: ( to Anakin) Hey, should we use our backstage passes?  
  
Anakin: Yeah dude!  
  
( _The two show the guards their passes, take wrong turn, end up outside of building_)  
  
Obi: I think we took a wrong turn cause we''re outside now.  
  
( _The two see enormous shuttle with large Bantha standing guard)_  
  
Anakin: Dude, is this Alice's?  
  
Bantha: No, it belongs to Cal Palpatine, head of the Galatic Republic.  
  
Obi: It's really big.  
  
Bantha: Well it has to be. He travels everywhere in it, has a large fear of Jedi for some reason.  
  
( _Anakin and Obi share questioning looks)_  
  
Bantha: First he's going to Coruscant here.( _points upward_) Then here. ( _points left_) Then here. _( points right)  
_  
Anakin: Uh thanks. (_ looks at camera_) Boy, he sure had a lot of information, don't you think?  
(_ Later, Anakin and Obi find their way into Alice Vader's room)_  
  
Anakin: Alice, is this cool?  
  
Alice: Sure, come on in.  
  
Obi: Don't kill us or anything, okay? Just because we're Jedi doesn't mean we don't like Sith, all right? (_ starts to panic)_  
  
Anakin: Easy Obi, don't go mental on me.  
  
Alice: No, it's all right. I actually have a very sensitive side no one knows about. ( _tries to sniff flowers through his mask)  
_  
Anakin: I was not aware of that.  
  
( _Alice pulls out pot of daisies_)  
  
Anakin: So. . . do you come to Corsucant often? ( _grins stupidly_)  
  
Alice: Well I'm a constant visitor myself. But Coruscant has certainly had its share of visitors. After all, was it not the sight of the Great Treat over fifty years ago?  
  
Band member: Yeah, Master Yoda was there and everything.  
  
Alice: Yes, Pete, he was. As a matter of fact,if I quote, he called it very wise, it was.  
  
Anakin: ( _breaks conversation_) Does this guy know how to party or what?! HUH?!  
  
(_ All look at him as though he is insane_)  
  
Anakin: Okay. See you later Alice.  
  
Alice: No, you guys, come hang with us.  
  
Obi: ( grinning at Anakin) Yeah, stay and hang out with us. . . with Alice Vader.  
  
(_ Both suddenly fall to their knees and start worshipping Alice's shrine)_  
  
Anakin and Obi: We're not worthy! We're not worthy! We're Jedi! We suck!  
  
( _Later that night Anakin and Obi prepare for their first high publicity show, with their guest Darth Tyrannous)  
  
_Maul: Okay, guys. Can you get this right?  
  
Anakin: Of course. Right is my Irish Uncle's neighbor's dog.  
  
Maul: (_ looking confused_) Look, uh, this is important. Tyrannous is our sponsor.  
  
Anakin: I don't think so. I hate sponsors. ( _grins as he holds up a McDonald's burger_)  
  
Obi: ( _wearing a Wal-Mart t-shir_t) Yeah. Why do people only do things for money? It's just sad. They only want more and more pay.  
Anakin: (_ eating Cheeto_s) No matter how much Lucas goes over budget, he will not bow down to any sponsor.  
  
Obi: Hey Anakin, want to increase your force power? (_ hands Anakin pair of sneakers_)  
  
Anakin: Wow. Nike. Fancy. Cool.  
  
( _Maul just stares at the two)  
  
_Windu: Okay boys, it's time to start the show.  
  
Maul: ( _looking sincerely concerned_) Uh, just stick to what the script said, okay?  
  
Anakin: Awesome.  
  
( _Anakin and Obi get set up on their basement set_)  
  
Windu: We are on in seven, six, five, four, three! ( _mouths two and one_)  
  
Anakin and Obi: It's Anakin's world! Anakin's world! Jedi time! Excellent! Woo-woo!  
  
Anakin: Okay, today on Anakin's world, we have our special guest. . . Darth Tyrannous! ( Tyrannous comes out) He was recently a member of the Jedi order until he quit and changed his name, which used to be Count Dooku. Nice name.  
  
Anakin and Obi: NOT!  
  
Anakin: Okay, so Mr. Tyrannous, we have a very special activity to do today. We understand you want to improve your image with the people?  
  
Tyrannous: That's right. No matter what the senator from Naboo says, I have in no way been involved in her assassination attempts!  
  
Anakin: Uh, I didn't say you were. Are you mental?  
  
Tyrannous: Uh, never mind.  
  
( _Maul and Sidious give each other satisfied smiles_)  
  
Anakin: So Tyrannous, we are here to ask you today to show off your Jedi mojo.  
  
( Maul and Sidious suddenly look horrified at each other)  
  
Obi: ( _giggling_) Yeah, we want to see your moves.  
  
Anakin: So hit the music and follow along with us, old timer!  
  
( _Tyrannous looks completely befuddled as the three start hip hop dancing to the song Canned heat)  
  
_( _Working crew is simply falling over laughing)_  
  
Sidious: (_ to Maul_) I can assure you I did not write for them to do that.  
  
(_ Maul just looks severely pissed off_)  
  
( _Tyrannous starts suddenly dancing more seductively, giving camera strange looks. This cracks everyone up even more)  
_  
( _Finally they come to a stop and sit down_)  
  
Anakin: Well, what do you think now Mr. Tyrannous?  
  
Tyrannous: Screw this Separatist deal! I'm going dancing!  
  
Anakin: Well another case solved. Party on Obi!  
  
Obi: Party on Anakin!  
  
Anakin and Obi: It's Anakin's world!Anakin's world! Party time! Excellent! Woo-woo!  
_  
( Maul comes walking out)  
  
_Maul: What in the hell are you doing? You've publicly humiliated the sponsor!  
  
Anakin: Yeah!  
  
Maul: You're fired!  
  
Anakin: Fired! For that?! SHAA! Right! I'm getting out of here, horny!  
  
Maul: Well I guess that's it for your show.  
  
Anakin: ( _looks ticked off_) Ugh, bite me! (_leaves)_  
  
Maul: (_looks calm)_ Okay. Are we ready? Coming back.  
  
Windu: Coming back? Okay, go, five,f our three! (_ mouths two and one)_  
  
Obi: (_stares at camera_) Uh, I'm having a good time. Not! ( _looks around)_ Uh,uh, uh. _( starts to jabber nonsensically)  
_  
Windu: (_ to Maul_) You ever seen Obi after his master got killed?  
  
(_ Maul starts to look worried, backs away_)  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	6. Chapter 6

A/N I don't own anything that is Star Wars, etc. Reviews are always nice things.  
  
( _Later that night Obi and Anakin are sitting on top of their speeder)_  
  
Obi: You really pissed me off the other night.  
  
Anakin: Obi, you barely get upset over anything.  
  
Obi: Yeah, but you shouldn't leave you friend like that. I mean, ( _grins stupidly_) I am a master Jedi, but you still shouldn't have dumped your friend like that.  
  
Anakin: So now I have to run everything by you?  
  
Obi: (_getting annoyed)_ Well yeah you have to run everything by me now! What am I, a dug? With you as always is your master, Obi?  
  
(_ grins wickedly)_  
  
Obi: You know Maul had you so forced. You know what? He's got it for Padme.  
  
Anakin: No way. Padme's not interested in him at all.  
  
Obi: Okay. Pop quiz. Padme is not interested in Maul because: A. Chicks dig his outfit. B. The Sith Order rules C. Has lots of cash D. Has cool hairdo.  
  
Obi: ( _grins evilly again_) E. Does not dream about his mother.  
  
Anakin: Okay. How about F? You're a dweeb! You know what you can do with your pop quiz?  
  
Obi: Well you know what you can do with your show? You can take a light saber and- (_ suddenly flying overhead vehicle obscures any dialogue)  
_  
Obi: ( _a bit frantic now_) . . . until the laser blows up and you have to find a Jedi healer to fix you up again!  
  
Anakin: Kiss your mother with that mouth?! You've gone mental! I'm getting out of here, nutty!  
  
Obi: Fine then go.  
  
Anakin: I'm gone.  
  
Obi: Go then.  
  
Anakin: Well I am.  
  
( _Obi looks at Anakin. Anakin grimaces, walks off angrily. Obi looks kind of sad)  
  
_Obi: Darn. That obnoxious, snot nosed, loud mouthed brat grows on you after a while.  
  
( _Later Anakin visits Padme at her suite_)  
  
Padme: Where were you last night, you never showed!  
  
Anakin: ( _sees her packing_) Where are you going?  
  
Padme: Middle Coruscant. Me and Maul are going to make my new music video.  
  
Anakin: (_ sounds annoyed_) Well it sounds to me like Maul has been paying you a lot of attention lately.  
  
Padme: ( _sounds annoyed_) Well maybe he thinks I've got talent.  
  
Anakin: Maybe he's pokin' you.  
  
Padme: ( _looks really annoyed)_ WHAT?!  
  
Anakin: Well first you do me, then you do him, it's James Bond motto.  
  
Padme: ( _looking exasperated_) Could you be any more insulting?  
  
Anakin: _( thinks for a moment)_ Yeah.  
  
Padme: I think you better leave. _( turns head away)_  
  
Anakin: _( angrily)_ Fine.  
  
( _He walks out and stares at camera_)  
  
Anakin: ( _to camera_) What the hell's going on? I lost my show, I lost my girl, I lost my master? I'm being dumped on, that's all, dumped on! But you know what really pisses me off?!  
  
(_ Camera stars to leave_)  
  
Anakin: Wait, where are you going? All right,come on back. ( _gives sympathetic smile_) I'm sorry, I didn't mean to dump on you.   
Okay, so things are so great right now. I'll work something out. Okay?(_Gives cheesy grin)_  
  
(_ Later at Qui-Gon's donuts_)  
  
Qui-Gon: ( _speaking to group_) You know, if you kill a clone trooper on Hoth, steam will rise from his wounds. Jedi used to believe it was his way of becoming one with the force.  
  
Group: Oh, yeah, yeah. (_ all nod and agree in serious manner, look down at donuts_ ) Uh, right Qui-Gon.  
  
Obi: ( _playing with donut figures_) Anakin's driving the ship again Obi! ( _takes other figure_) Well he better not go too fast, I hope he certainly doesn't  
  
( _Suddenly starts attacking little Tusken Raider shaped ones)_  
  
Obi: ( _as Padme)_ Oh, no, Ani! That's not good, I'm not happy, oh no! (_ makes light saber sounds as he chops up Tusken Raiders)  
_  
Anakin: (_ walks in, sits down_) Hi. I'm sorry for what I did. Buds?  
  
Obi: (_ smiles slightly_) Buds. ( _hands Anakin a drink_) So how've you been?  
  
Anakin: Okay, I guess. I just wish I had Padme back.  
  
Obi: You'll think of something.  
  
Anakin: I don't know. ( _Rethinks that_) Well, I do have one plan though.  
  
( _He and Obi walk over to room filled with stormtroopers preparing for battle)  
_  
Obi: What are you going to do with these guys?  
  
Anakin: Oh nothing really. I just always wanted to have an army at my disposal so I could crush any pitiful creatures I despise.  
  
Obi: (_ grinning_) Wicked.  
  
( _Anakin grins in return, they return to their seats)  
  
_Obi: I think you should just go get Padme.  
  
Anakin: I just don't think she wants me to.  
  
Obi: (_ crosses leg over, gives Natalie Portman-look alike a seductive eye)_ Let me tell you something I've learned about women. They want you to come get them. ( _grins)_ They love it.  
  
Anakin: I just wish I had something to offer her that Darth Maul couldn't.  
  
Obi: You'll think of something.  
  
Anakin: ( _suddenly shoots up_ ) Wait a minute! ( _slowly sits back down_) No. . . . . wait a minute! ( _shoots up, slowly sits back down_) No. . . . .  
  
Anakin: ( _shoots up again_) WAIT A MINUTE! I know, that guy, Cal Palpatine, the one with the huge speeder!  
  
Obi: Yeah, that Banta told us he was going all over Coruscant!  
  
Anakin: Yeah. (_ to camera_) Isn't it great that the big, hairy creature knew all that information? It seemed strange and disturbing at the time.  
  
Obi: Okay. First I'll access a Galactic satellite, using it to monitor any frequencies that might disrupt our exact broadcast. Then I refigure our own communications system to allow full potential for our expansion coverage over an ideal area of the planet.  
  
Anakin: (_ grins _) Yes?  
  
Obi: Then I rewire the system using the technicality systems of interfering with other broadcasting's signals to reflect off another Galactic satellite, monitor it until it meshes at a desirable screen quality, reflect it back into our system, and spread it all over the planet of Coruscant onto every screen available!  
  
Obi: ( _stares far off_) It's almost too easy.  
  
Anakin: Well, we're going to need help.  
  
(_ Rest of group in shop show up behind them_)  
  
Group We'll help!  
  
Obi: ( _jumps up looking excited)_ You get Padme, we'll deal with the rest!  
  
( _All go running out, Anakin yelling To the Jedi-mobile!_)  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	7. Chapter 7

A/N I don't own anything relating to Star Wars, etc. Reviews are always welcomed.  
  
( _Anakin is flying through Coruscant ,head banging to music as he drives, when a police speeder comes up behind him)  
  
_Anakin: ( _sees speeder, slows down at landing port, lands, turns to see officer)_ Yes officer, is there something I can help you with?  
  
Nute Gunray: ( _pulls out picture of young Anakin_) Have you seen this boy?  
  
Anakin: AAAAAHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHH! _( flies off quickly)_  
  
( _Cut to the set of Padme's music video where, during a break, Maul and Padme are talking)_  
  
Anakin: (_ comes flying up, runs out of speeder)_ Padme! You've got to come back with me!  
  
Padme: I don't want to talk to you right now Ani!  
  
Anakin: (_ ignores response_) I'm putting my show back on the air, you've got to be there.  
  
Maul: Anakin, go home.  
  
Anakin: No. I'm not going anywhere. ( _turns back to Padme_) Padme, I love you. I know you may think I don't, but I love you. Am I supposed to be a man? Am I supposed to say It's all right, I don't mind!?  
  
( _Walks over to refreshment table, splashes water on his face: The word Oscar Clip come up on the screen)  
_  
Anakin: ( _fake crying_) I don't mind! Well I mind! I mind big time! And you know what the worst part is? ( sniffle loudly) I never kissed my mother! ( _fake cries a bit more)  
  
_Padme: Is that true?  
  
Anakin: Yes. Everything except the part about my mother.  
  
Maul: Very nice speech Anakin, but we're busy.  
  
Anakin: Ah, yes, her music video, very clever. But where is her band?  
  
Band: (_ shows up behind him_) Hi Anakin.  
  
Anakin: Oh, hi. I didn't see you there. (_ looks at Maul and Padme sheepishly_) Well I guess you've thought of everything, nothing for me to do but just go home! Bye-bye Ani! It' bed time! But you and I both know that there is no film in this camera!   
  
( _Slashes it with his lightsaber, explodes into mass of melted film; Anakin grins sheepishly again)  
_  
Padme: (_annoyed_) Anakin, go home!  
  
_( Anakin starts to leave, Maul sneaks up behind Padme_)  
  
Maul: Ah, it's very sad when two people outgrow each other, but you can't let it affect your attitude.  
  
Padme: (_ looks uncomfortable down at her legs_) Is that you or the Force?  
  
( _Maul grins, but Padme runs off to Anakin)  
  
_Padme: Ani!  
  
Anakin: Padme! I know I don't have his cool looks! I know I don't have his cool outfit, or belong to his awesome order! I know that sometimes when I get upset, I get this black look in my eyes-  
  
Padme: Shut up and get in the speeder!  
  
Anakin: Excellent.  
  
(_Meanwhile, Obi,Mace Windu, Yoda, and Jar-Jar are about to break into the Coruscant t.v. station, to get the needed equipment)  
_  
Obi: Okay, gentlemen, this is it! Get down, now, go!  
  
( _All start climbing across the lot in front of the building,except Obi, who is just laying there for a moment)  
_  
Obi: Hey guys! I fell on my lightsaber! ( _starts crawling)_ Ow,ow,ow,ow,ow,ow!  
  
(_ They make their way into the station,get out without anyone noticing. Then, from behind a tree near where they parked their speeder, comes Qui-Gon)  
_  
Qui-Gon: Hold it right there!  
  
Obi: Hi there Qui-  
  
Qui-Gon: NO! I'm supposed to stop you! ( _waves stick at them)_  
  
Obi: _( He and the rest quickly put up their hands)_ Give me the stick Qui-Gon. What, are you going to be a hippie the rest of your life?  
  
Qui-Gon: Hippies are cool!  
  
Obi: (_ puts hands down, slowly starts walking forward_) No. Hippies are not cool. If a Jedi were actually a hippie, he'd be like a cross between a Gungan and a Hutt.  
  
(_ Quickly grabs stick away, the others start running forward)   
  
_Obi: _( holds them back)_ It's okay! It's going to be okay.  
  
(_ They take off for Obi and Anakin's place with Qui-Gon driving)_  
  
Jar-Jar: (_ grins at Qui-Gon_) Mesa LOVE you Qui-Gon!  
  
Qui-Gon:(_ smiles appreciatively back_) I know.  
  
Jar-Jar: (_ shakes his head, still grinning)_ No ,yousa donta. Mesa love you man!  
  
Qui-Gon: ( _starts to look a little worried_) Uh, yeah I know.  
  
Obi: Just say thank you.  
  
(_ Jar-Jar hugs Qui-Gon; Qui-Gon quickly works to regain control of the speeder)  
_  
Qui-Gon: Thank you! _( looks rather worried now)_  
  
_( Cut to Anakin's house)  
_  
Anakin and Obi: It's Anakin's world! Anakin's World! Jedi time! Excellent! Woo-woo!  
  
Anakin: Okay, today on Anakin's World, we have a very special show. So, out there to Cal Palpatine, if you're watching-  
  
(_ Cut to Palpatine's personal craft)_  
  
Anakin: (_ appears on tv screen_) -and you like what you see, come to our place ASAP!  
  
Anakin: (_ back in his basement_) So get ready for Padme Amidala- and NABOO RULZ!  
  
(_ Padme starts singing Bye, Jedi, Bye Palpatine's personal craft quickly flies out to Anakin's place)  
_  
(_ Maul also flies out to Anakin's place, arrives as Padme is finishing her song, as does Palpatine's)  
_  
Palpatine: Hi, I'm Chancellor Palpatine. I must say that what I say tonight was very good. And while you're very pretty, I just don't think you're ready. Sorry.  
  
Padme: (_ glares at Anakin)_ You screwed my career! (_ beats him up)_  
  
Maul: (_ laughs, looking down at Anakin_) I always knew you would be a loser!  
  
( _He and Padme walk off)_  
  
Sabe: ( _comes walking out_) Anakin, I'm pregnant. That's why I've been so moody.  
  
( _Anakin looks completely befuddled at this; suddenly the camera equipment starts melting into lava)  
_  
Windu: Let's get out of here man!  
  
Yoda: Go we must! (_ All run out leaving Obi and Anakin)  
_  
Obi: _( jumps up onto staircase, extends hand out to Anakin_) Anakin! Grab on!  
  
(_ The lava covers Anakin up before Obi can reach him_)  
  
(_ Later, we see Anakin as the dark lord of the Sith, Darth Vader. Obi looks sadly up at Anakin as he leaves his friend behind)  
_  
Obi: WHY GOD?! WHY?!(_ Starts crying)_  
  
( _Cut to Maul and Padme tanning out on Naboo_)  
  
Maul: (_ looks at camera_) You didn't really think she would end up with Anakin, did you?  
  
( _Anakin and Obi pop out_)  
  
Obi: As if!  
  
Anakin: As if we would end the move like that! Sha! Right!  
  
Obi: Let's do the Scooby-Doo ending!  
  
Anakin: Good call Obi! ( _both start wiggling fingers at camera, chanting as it changes back to Anakin's basement just as Palpatine shows up)  
_  
Anakin: (_ sees Palpatine)_ Wow, we got through! Well that wraps that up, but there's one last thing.  
  
( _We see Maul being held up by Windu and Qui-Gon)  
  
_Anakin: Let's see who you really are, mister!  
  
(_ Pulls off Darth Maul's mask)  
_  
Anakin: Why it's Kyp Durron, the _Star Wars Expanded_ universe character that no one cares about!  
  
Kyp: And I would have gotten away with it too! If it hadn't been for you snoopin' kids!  
  
Obi: ( _in Scooby-Doo voice_) Good one Ani! ( _voice changes back to normal_) Well that was a good ending, but I think we should do the mega happy ending.  
  
Anakin: Ah, the mega happy ending, that's plausible!  
  
_( Both start wiggling their fingers at camera, chanting, changes back to Anakin's basement just as Palpatine shows up)  
  
_Palpatine: That was terrific!In fact, it was so good, I making you the new Chancellor of the Republic!  
  
Padme: ( _looks lovingly at Anakin_) I love you Ani!  
  
Anakin: I love you Padme! ( _both kiss and hug in unison_)  
  
( _Natalie Portman-look alike comes walking out_) I love you Obi!  
  
Obi: I love you Natalie Portman-look alike! ( _They kiss and hug too_)  
  
( _Tyrannous comes walking out with ladies all swooning him_)  
  
Tyrannous: You know, ever since I did your show, the ladies won't leave me alone!  
  
Jar-Jar: Mesa love you Qui-Gon.  
  
Qui-Gon: ( _pats Jar-Jar on shoulder_) And I love you Jar-Jar. Because I've learned that platonic love CAN exist between a man and a Gungan.  
  
(_ Maul comes walking out)_  
  
Maul: And I've learned something too. I've learned that a cool outfit, being an awesome villain and having tons of cash can get you far in this world, almost to the top. But it can't get you everything.  
  
(_ Anakin and Obi walk forward_)  
  
Anakin: Isn't it great how we're all better people? ( _He and Obi grin, start sticking their hands out from behind their heads like big ears)  
_  
Anakin and Obi: Master Yoda! (_ start making miscellaneous goofy faces)_  
  
( _The rest laugh, clapping hands and cheering_)  
  
( _Cut to credits, with Anakin and Obi showing up_)  
  
Anakin: Well, thank you for watching Anakin's world. We hope you found it stimulating, fascinating, with the barrage of state of the art special effects being unable to dwarf the story quality.  
  
Obi: I hope you didn't think it sucked.  
  
Anakin: Well, party on Obi!  
  
Obi: Party on Anakin!  
  
( _End_)  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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